Learn how to help other’s to self-regulate.
Dealing with Angry People.
Work-related violence and aggression can take many forms. It can be understood as any situation where someone is abused, threatened, or assaulted in connection to their work.
Aggression isn’t always easy to define because it exists on a spectrum. At one end, it might be subtle—eye-rolling, dismissive tones, or passive-aggressive comments. At the other end, it can escalate to verbal abuse, discriminatory remarks, or even life-threatening physical violence.
Recognizing the Signs
For many people, aggression is a reaction to intense emotions such as fear, frustration, anger, or anxiety. While some have learned healthy ways to cope with these feelings, others may not have the tools or strategies to regulate themselves, and their distress can spill over into aggressive behaviour.
Whether the aggression is subtle or severe, it affects both mind and body. Even when there’s no visible injury, the stress can leave deep emotional and psychological impacts—especially when exposure happens repeatedly over time.
How to De-Escalate in Simple Steps
1. Stay calm yourself
Your tone, body language, and breathing set the emotional temperature. Slow your breath, keep your voice steady, and maintain a relaxed posture.
2. Give them space
If they’re physically close, take a small step back. This reduces their feeling of threat and gives both of you room to breathe.
3. Listen without interrupting
Let them speak and vent. Often, just feeling heard can soften their anger. Maintain gentle eye contact (if safe) and nod to show you’re listening.
4. Acknowledge their feelings
Use simple statements like:
“I can see you’re really upset about this.”
This doesn’t mean you agree — it just shows you understand their emotional state.
5. Keep your voice low and slow
People tend to unconsciously match the energy they receive. Lowering your voice and speaking more slowly can help them calm down.
6. Avoid blaming or arguing
Instead of “You’re wrong” or “That’s not true,” use “Let’s figure this out” or “I’d like to understand better.”
7. Offer a path forward
Once they’ve calmed a little, suggest a next step:
“Let’s take a short break and talk again.”
“What can we do right now to help?”
8. Know when to step away
If the anger escalates to aggression or feels unsafe, remove yourself from the situation and seek help.
In the Workplace
Physical changes should be tailored to each workplace’s unique risks, but equally important is creating an environment where employees feel valued, prepared, and supported.
Employers can monitor the success of these strategies by tracking:
The experiences frontline workers report when dealing with aggression.
Changes in staff wellbeing and confidence over time.
Broader organisational shifts in culture and safety.
A supportive workplace culture—where colleagues check in on each other and share the load—can significantly reduce the harm caused by stressful incidents. Leaders should set the tone from the top, while empowering staff to contribute from the ground up.
What can you do when aggression comes from neighbours or family?
When the source of aggression is closer to home, it can feel even more personal and draining. While you may not have an “employer” to step in, you still have options to protect yourself and create a safer environment:
Set clear boundaries – calmly state what behaviour is unacceptable and what consequences will follow if it continues.
Seek support – talk to a trusted friend, community elder, mediator, or support service. If the situation escalates, involve the police or relevant authorities.
Strengthen your environment – this might mean adding security cameras, improving lighting, or changing routines to reduce exposure to the person.
Learn de-escalation skills – sometimes you can lower tension with body language, tone of voice, or redirection, while keeping your safety as the priority.
Look after your wellbeing – incidents of aggression can leave emotional bruises. Make time for rest, activities that bring you joy, and professional support if needed.
It’s also worth keeping a record of incidents—dates, times, and what happened—especially if you need to escalate the matter legally or through a community organisation.
If you’re feeling isolated, remember you are not alone. In most areas, there are conflict resolution services, neighbourhood mediation programs, and domestic violence hotlines that can guide you on safe next steps.
Channelled Message from Quan Yin for those who need this the most:
.Beloved One,
when another’s heart is clouded with anger or fear, they may cast shadows toward you. But remember, the shadows are not yours to carry.
In every exchange, you are given a sacred choice — to absorb their pain or to stand in your light. Standing in your light does not mean you are without compassion; it means you recognise where your responsibility ends.
You may offer words of calm, you may offer the gentleness of your presence, but you do not offer your peace as a sacrifice to their storms.
When the winds rise — whether in the marketplace, the neighbour’s garden, or within the family hearth — breathe first. In your breath, you will remember that you are the still lake, not the restless wave.
Speak boundaries as you would plant a garden wall: strong, yet kind. And if the storms continue, know that walking away can be an act of the highest love — for them and for you — because it protects the ground where peace may someday return.
Call upon me when your heart feels heavy. I will wrap you in the silk of compassion and the armour of truth. In this way, you may meet aggression without becoming it, and you may honour your soul’s serenity while still seeing the divine spark in the other.
With infinite compassion,
Quan Yin 🌸✨
You Are Not Alone
it’s important to send a clear message to the wider community: aggression is never acceptable. Remind the public that the people serving and supporting them—whether in a hospital, shop, or call centre—are human beings with feelings, just like their own friends and family.
There is hope, there is help, and there are people who care about you. You are here for a reason, even if it’s hard to see right now. Please reach out—you are worthy of support, love, and healing. 💙
If you or someone you know is in crisis, reach out to a trusted friend, therapist, or crisis service. Help is always available. 💜
